


All Hail T.V.!

by Pearly_Pornography



Category: Original Work
Genre: Aliens, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-19 07:24:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4737731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pearly_Pornography/pseuds/Pearly_Pornography
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Xeelo Vitzka is sent to Earth to save their species, but their only experience with earthlings is cartoons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Space Madness

Xeelo curled their skin follicles between their digits, the purplish fuzz twisting between their chitin finger protectors. They had finally achieved their dream. After all of this time, they were going with the Azkartan army to Earth.

To most of Azkarta's residents, Earth was merely a far-off planet covered in H2O and numerous types of sediment, ruled by an unintelligent species known as "humans". But to Xeelo, it was home of some of the greatest moving picture makers in the Curd Galaxy, more commonly known as the "Milky Way". Cartoons were Xeelo's life, ever since they interrupted that TV transmission back in 1989. That was the day that changed their very life.

When they weren't training or protecting the peace, they were invading the satellite. They had seen everything, up until the year 10006, or earth year 2015. That was until now, when they finally got to go.

The Ganker planet was in the Cupcake Galaxy, known by earthlings as Andromeda. It separated them, the Cheese Galaxy, from the Curd Galaxy. Ganker ruled all of the Cupcake Galaxy and had enslaved every being within it, and now they were moving to Azkarta. However, they skipped a few planets. The species' on those planets weren't suited to carry the Gankerian workload. This included the humans.

Thus, many Azkartans joined the "colonization army" or C.A. to create an Azkartan population on new planets. But frankly, Xeelo had no interest in re-population or anything like that. They weren't even supposed to be going to earth. It had been overlooked due to the tendencies for the human race to...overreact, so they had been sent to Pinkerton with a group of some others.

And yet here they were, in a stolen intergalactic travel pod, going at hyper speed to planet earth. Nobody would notice they were gone, really. They weren't the most well liked one on that little planet. Most people found them annoying.

They had many things in the pod. A suitcase filled with dry garments sat on the floor, and a couple bags of Bleeglers in case they required sustenance. They also brought their autograph book. On earth, they would make their favorite cartoon manufacturers sign this book, and then their life goal would be completed.

It wasn't very long before the pod entered orbit with earth, and they set the landing coordinates to 'Central Park'.


	2. Best Best Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xeelo makes a friend from the land of "Ess Vee Ay".

All was momentarily silent when the "glassteroid" landed in the park.

Scottie saw it with his own two eyes. Made of something translucent, glassy, and it fell from the sky at abnormal speeds. It baffled every park visitor on the great lawn, a hush falling over the park as the birds and squirrels fled from a perceived danger. Something reached its thick, glossy appendages out, azure digits flickering in the afternoon sunlight. It rose, like the creature of the black lagoon, single eye blinking an oceanic sapphire shade, masses of clumpy hair in an abnormally purple hue.

The first words it spoke changed Scottie's life forever. Its deep, throaty voice almost sounding seductive as it asked an abnormal question. It was as though the creature knew where it was, and what its quest was, but it was an abnormal quest.

"...Is John Kricfalusi here? I would like him to sign my pad of paper."

The silence continued. Intelligent life from beyond Earth's comprehension was only in Scottie's wildest dreams, and yet here it was before his very own eyes. It was here, and it was asking where the creator of "The Ren & Stimpy Show" was.

What a peculiar being.

"No? Let's see here...Raise your hand if your last name is 'Sugar'...Rebecca Sugar?...Noooo?"

"Why are you calling for animators in Central Park." Scottie finally spoke up to the odd creature.

"Earth isn't that big, so they couldn't have gone too far, yeah?"

"It's bigger than you think." There was another silence as people watched him interact with the unknown life form. "Like, way bigger."

"Ooh...I'm gonna be awhile to find anyone who animates well..."

"I-I do." Scottie blurted. He was a traditional animation major in SVA. Not famous or anything, at least, not yet. He was in fact a hard-working animator, though he wasn't getting anywhere. Probably because he was such a perfectionist, as is the flaw of modern man.

The alien took a deep breath. Then exhaled, a grin spreading across its face.

"Jjjjjooooyyyyy..."

"...I live in an apartment with my friends, you can move in if you want..." He had to shield his eyes from all of the camera flash. "Assuming you don't have anywhere else to go. And, and, we're fucking serious about cartoons back there."

The creature seemed completely sold.

-

"So, what's your name?"

"My name is Xeelo Vitzka of Azkarta, deep in the Cheese Galaxy." The creature grinned sharp teeth, reclined in the backseat of a large taxi. "I was sent out to save my race, but defied all orders and came here to fill my autograph pad!" 

Scottie almost wondered if this was some fever dream. Not only was it an alien, but it was a really fucking stupid one. Xeelo Vitzka even seemed like a name out of a sci-fi comedy. Perhaps this was some sort of ridiculously elaborate prank set by his roommates...But he highly doubted Pistol had the patience to fire a large glassy faux-escape pod out of the sky with that much realism.

"Tell me your name, Animator."

"Oh, uh...I'm Shou-xin Bao, but, I didn't wanna imagine anyone trying to pronounce that, so...You can call me Scottie."

"...Do you like sharks?"

It was a sudden question. Did they even have sharks in space? Was this due to Xeelo's abnormal knowledge of Earth's television?

"Sharks are pretty cool."

Xeelo snickered. That sort of laugh you use when you have your mouth closed, so it all just comes out of your nose like some kind of abnormal pleasure sneeze. They opened their mouth once more, giggling childishly.

"Say it again."

"...Sharks are pretty cool?"

This time it was full-on laughter. What was so funny? He absolutely did not get it. Was it a pun he had to squint really hard to understand? Was it a play on words? Usually people went the "scottie dog" route. 

"J-just one more, come on..."

"Sharks are pretty...cool." And thus, Xeelo continued their hysterical laughter. "Oh, this is where we get off."


End file.
